Words we love: Pebbling – a new love language

It’s a word I admit I’ve not really thought of, until in recent weeks it became news that ‘Pebbling’ is the new term for when people share memes and gifs to those they are thinking of. Since learning this, pebbling has definitely become a word I love, for I’m a great believer in Pebbling.

The term Pebbling comes from Gentoo Penguins. They are known to pick up pebbles in their beak and carry them to their partners or potential partners as a gift. They do this to help build their nest (twigs are not readily available to them where they nest build), but it’s also a gift that acknowledges the relationship between them.

Apparently ‘Pebbling’ it’s a big thing in dating circles. Not giving actual pebbles but the sharing of memes and gifs as a form of love language. Spotting something and sharing is a form of connection. A ‘look I saw this and thought of you!’ moment. ❤️

I wanted to call myself a ‘Pebbler’, but it tuns out this is not a giver of memes, but either as the Urban Dictionary says ‘one step down from a stoner’ or someone who ‘pebbles leather by hand or machines’ (Mirriam-Webster). So I’ll stick with the verb of ‘pebbling’ as that feels safer ground.

Pebbling can also be done in person, consisting of small low-cost tokens that are a way of showing affection and serve as a bridge to build deeper connections, without a need for ostentatious displays.

I am a great believer of both the sharing of the electronic stuff, memes, socials posts or photos as a quick way to say I’m thinking of you! But I also love giving physical small tokens of love.

I often leave small gifts on my daughter’s bed as a surprise. It’s never anything big or flashy; it might be something off Vinted for a few pounds, or some cute highlighters. And in return I might get a few flowers picked on the way home from school (be still my beating heart) or a Freddo chocolate bar if she’s feeling flush (25p from the newsagents). It’s the thought that counts.

And in response to the memes I send her, I occasionally I get a ‘skibididi’ or ‘that’s cold’ back (both meaning she liked it and approved); or less good the reply ‘mum’ (never written with a capital letter, it usually translates to *eye-roll*, stop, no more, it wasn’t that funny, or it touched a nerve!).

No matter how small, I think we all appreciate being in someone’s thoughts. I have friends who bombard me with memes and videos all day long. I might sometimes feel overwhelmed by this, but now I understand it’s their love language, and I appreciate the thought very much.

We can all help people feel better just by showing we’re thinking of them. So go ahead and get ‘Pebbling’ – it’s mainly free and it’s often funny or heart-warming. And who doesn’t want their heart to be warmed?